Inspire Motherhood Conference

Yesterday, a fellow daycare parent and I attended the Inspire Motherhood Conference in Davenport (www.inspiremotherhoodconference.com).  I first came across this event on the Quad City Moms Blog (citymomsblog.com/quadcity).  This conference was a day-long event based on the theme "Being Bold and Brave" featuring speakers, various workshops, and "Pop-Up Shops" including a wide variety of vendors.  Erin Haluska founded the conference.  Her mission in organizing the event was to inspire mothers to celebrate the gift of motherhood with its trials and triumphs while offering this day as an opportunity to "fill your tank" in order to re-energize. 

I enjoyed every minute of the day.  Starting with the breakfast bar, there was a lot to take in from the coordinating table decor to all the various vendors.  The first keynote speaker, Stephanie Flies (owner of City Moms Blog Network) touched on being bold and brave in friendships.  Her main points included the importance of investing in friendship and entering into friendships with an intentionality, bravery, and grace.  Using words of affirmation to celebrate our friends' accomplishments instead of falling into constant comparisons was also a key point.  Stephanie listed 8 traits she looks for in a friend; honesty, integrity, deep thinker, candor, other-centeredness, acceptance, spiritual depth, and love of life.  She also branched off into talking about her own kids and how important it is to allow them to be different and to make mistakes as they navigate this world. 

Being bold and brave in motherhood was the topic for the next speaker, Jennifer DeWeerdt (leader of Original Women's conference and pastor of Rockford First).  My favorite part of Jennifer's talk was her description of motherhood as a journey; just as many things in life that we pursue are more of a marathon than a sprint.  As parents, we are the personal trainers of our kids.  She also spoke of the importance of maintaining the courage to keep trying even after failed attempts; each day is a gift to begin again.  The idea of making comparisons to other parents was brought up and how we need to "tend to our own yard" and make the most of the gifts God has given each of us to raise our kids along with the idea of "don't hesitate to celebrate" others' achievements instead of being envious.  Taking one day at a time while not worrying about what the future may bring allows us to be more fully present in day-to-day life.  Your thoughts can greatly "affect your effectiveness."  Seeking out perfection will lead to continuous discontent.

The third speaker, Natalie Lesnefsky (creator of "Happy Mommy Box" and blogger:  www.thebusybudgetingmama.com) focused on how to be brave and bold with your spouse.  Fostering a loving relationship with your spouse is truly a gift to your kids.  I especially love how Natalie infused a strong faith-based theme throughout her message, as she stated the ultimate goal for us as parents is to help our kids get to heaven.  Often the busyness of our day can take over the simply joy of living.  Communication with eye contact, admiration through words and actions, and simple acts of intimacy are all building blocks in a solid foundation of a relationship between husband and wife, who should be an example of what married love is to their kids.

Each attendee at the conference also had the opportunity to choose 3 workshops to sign up for in advance.  I chose Photography 101, Social Confidence, and "Supermom Must Die."  Now that I traded in my point and shoot camera for a DSLR, I was hoping to learn more about how to take pictures in the manual mode rather than having it set to auto, but the photographer of this workshop (Sarah Sunstrom) covered topics such as minimizing distractions, lighting, and angles instead.  I still learned some helpful, practical tips.  As an introvert, the Social Confidence workshop was meant for me!  The presenter, Olivia Ryan, went over different breathing techniques to help transform a nervous or tense situation into a calmer one along with using visualization of a courageous moment to overcome new ones.  I also liked her point of embracing who are you rather than trying to be someone you are not.  She gave some practical tips, such as allowing yourself opportunities to participate in social events instead of attempting to avoid them.  Sparking a conversation with a compliment, common interest, or even a simple smile can also help.  Lastly, Leslie Klipsch spoke on the idea of "eradicating Supermom."  This notion of a mother who does everything and does it all well leads to feelings of inadequacy and incompetency when comparisons are made if we try to be this idealistic "Supermom."  We need to learn to silence these voices of comparison, know we are enough, and shed the superhero cape. 

Aside from the three workshops I attended, they also offered sessions including:  Health/Nutrition, Mompreneur, DIY/Crafting, Beauty Bootcamp, Finances 101, and Essential Oils. 

At the conclusion of the day, there were giveaways along with a "swag bag" for each person with lots of coupons and free samples.  I am really hoping this conference will be offered again.  Who wants to join me next time?  :)  I came away from this day with a renewed perspective of motherhood and a renewed commitment to this calling as I continue on the journey. 

Lent

Chocolate, pop, going out to eat, spending time on social media, watching TV...these might be common responses to what people might say if asked what they are giving up for Lent.  Of course, you don't have to give something up; you could do something extra to create a more positive impact on your life.  How about healthier eating or a new exercise routine?  I even tried that last year with the purchase a fancy new treadmill (okay, it wasn't that fancy but it was new); well, that 35-minute brisk daily walk lasted all of the 40 days of Lent, and the treadmill is now collecting dust in a more remote part of the house. 

This year, I thought I would try a different approach this Lenten season that might transform my attitude and outlook on life and will hopefully extend beyond the 40-day mark.  I think a lot of people start off really strong at the beginning of Lent and as the days and weeks go by, temptation creeps in and its magnetic pull becomes even stronger.  Forty days is a really. long. time. 

First of all, I came across a link from Matthew Kelly (author of The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic) entitled "Best Lent Ever":  http://dynamiccatholic.com/bestlentever/

Best Lent Ever?  Okay, let's do it!  So, I signed up for the daily e-mails, which include a variety of prayers, reflections, and short videos all based on a different theme, such as being the best version of yourself.  It seems like any time I immerse myself in something like this, more often than not the prayer or reflection for that day is exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, which brings me to my goal for this Lenten season:  Letting go of worry and replacing negative thoughts with more positive ones. 

I have always considered myself a chronic worrier.  Here's the way my mind works:  I am always thinking (usually worrying) about something.  As soon as one worry is conquered, another one creeps in to take its place.  The more I worry or think about something, the more it balloons into a bigger problem and irrationality takes over.  It is only when I stand back from the situation and attempt to see it through a new perspective that I finally realize I either have to let it go since I have no control over it or take action and do what I can to solve the problem instead of letting it stew, really the essence of the serenity prayer (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference).

My challenge to myself is this:  When I become worried or fearful of a situation, I am going to replace my negative and worried thoughts with something more positive, either an action plan to take control of the situation or replace a negative thought with an upcoming event that I can look forward to or even simply something for which I am grateful.  I know this will be a process and will probably take longer than the 40 days of Lent to achieve a new way of thinking, but I know in the long run this is just one way to help create the best version of myself.

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." - Steve Maraboli

"No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen." - Alan Watts

The Other Side

Looking back, I remember how excited I was to move into my very first apartment after accepting my teaching position right out of college.  Muggsie Lane became my new home.   It wasn't long before I was all settled in loving the independence of this new journey; one I had been dreaming of since a young girl.  Finally - my own classroom as Miss Sabers with my own students.  When I first started teaching, I loved it!  It was what I always wanted to do and truly a dream come true.  I had loved school as a student, and I wanted to pass on that same love of learning to young minds through creating engaging lessons.  After the newness, excitement, fresh ideas, and passion for this profession became replaced with dreaded discipline issues and even lesson planning that lost its appeal, my enthusiasm for my teaching career started to wane.  It was about this same time a few years into my new career that I began longing to find the right man to marry.  I felt the single life was only fun for so long; was the grass really greener on the other side of that fence - the one belonging to a young mother and father and kids playing in the backyard?

Along comes Ian, introduced to me through a mutual friend who was a student teacher from school at the time.  After a little over a year of dating, we became engaged.  After realizing we would be starting our own family some day, I knew I did not have the energy and ambition to attempt to raise a family and maintain the dedication to the teaching profession as well, so I took online classes for medical transcription in the midst of planning our wedding.  After I completed the coursework and started a new transcription job, typing nights and weekends while teaching during the day, I knew I wanted to transition from teaching to transcription.  That spring, I decided not to renew my teaching contract.  Was the grass really going to be greener on the other side - working from home?

Now that I am approaching the 5-year anniversary of my work-from-home job, I love it even more than when I first started.  I love the many benefits of being able to work independently from home and the flexibility to set my own hours while sitting at my computer in my sweatpants.  I was able to keep Eli at home with me during his first year of life while I also worked.  He started going to daycare twice a week when he turned a year old so that he could have some socialization with other kids without me there.  When he stopped taking his afternoon nap around the time he turned 3-1/2, I found it more of a challenge to keep him entertained while still getting my work done, so he started going to daycare more.  There are days sometimes when I wonder if I might re-enter the classroom and actually wear professional clothes again.  On second thought, I think at least for now I am quite content on this side of the fence in our own home in my comfy clothes by myself along with the rhythmic sounds of a doctor's dictation and accompanying chatter of the keystrokes. 

As for parenting, I remember imaging what kind of mother I would be even long before we conceived.  I also distinctly remember being sometimes even critical of other parents' child-rearing practices and thinking how I will be the strict, authoritative type who won't be "picking my battles" as a parent; I'm the one in charge, right?  I will win every battle!  Fast forward 3 years, and I realize as a parent you really do sometimes have to pick your battles, especially with a toddler learning how to make his own choices.  Even developmental tasks, such as potty training will only be accomplished in accordance with the child's own timetable - when they are ready no matter how long you have been ready for the next task to be acquired.  I regret the judgments I made of other parenting styles before I became a mother myself, especially now as I feel my own kid can be a reflection of my parenting.  There is a reason why many say parenting really is the hardest job.  I remember daydreaming of the day I would be able to have a "real" conversation with Eli when he was just a newborn, wondering, will the grass really be greener on the other side of that fence when he gets older?  Each stage of a developing baby and toddler seems to quickly be replaced with new challenges along with new adventures and milestones.

I still look longingly at my first place of residence in Maquoketa whenever we drive by Muggsie Lane, reflecting on my new-found independence as a young adult in the real world for the first time living a carefree lifestyle only responsible for myself.  Some days when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, I think back to living on the other side of the fence over there in the apartment complex, but then I am quickly reminded how much my life has changed since then and for the better; happily married, enjoying a stress-free flexible job, and most of all raising a happy little boy.  It seems like a lot of times in life we are looking forward to what the next stage or journey in life might bring instead of simply being content at the point where we are now, wondering if the grass really is greener on the other side of that fence.  In this season of my life, I think the grass is really much greener on this side of the fence and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

"The grass is always greener where you water it."

-Neil Barringham

A Valentine Surprise

This past weekend, my family met in Cedar Rapids to celebrate Megan's 30th birthday.  After breakfast at IHOP, we went back to Jamie and Matt's house for a little more celebrating.  Little did we know at the time, we would be celebrating more than just Megan's birthday that day.  Beforehand, Jamie had a suspicion that Megan might have an announcement that day.  When I questioned her about it, her responses totally threw me off from that idea, so I wasn't expecting any big news.  However, Megan and Jeff revealed some big news on a cake:

My parents even picked up on some subtle clues beforehand, so I think (in all my obliviousness) I was the only one genuinely surprised!  

Megan very creatively tied in the Valentine's Day theme not only with the cake but with Valentine cards she gave each of us with a personal message and yet another witty way to announce Baby Nelson is on the way.  The grandparents were even given a countdown that automatically keeps track of the time until Baby Nelson arrives. 

What I really loved about her announcement ideas is how they let Jeff's daughter in on the news; a baby-themed dinner consisting of baby corn, baby carrots, baby back ribs, baby red potatoes, and even baby cupcakes!

This is a big year in the Sabers family with our growing family tree and Jamie's upcoming wedding in August.  I am so excited to be sharing in the journey of motherhood now with one of my sisters!

Shea's Golden Birthday

Earlier this month, we celebrated Shea's golden birthday on the 7th.  It was a fun ninja-themed party with touches of "gold" included in the decor, tableware, and even the party favor bags.  Shea was celebrating with his friends at a hockey game that night, so the family get-together took place earlier in the day with a birthday brunch and even a cookie cake.  Eli always loves to play with his cousins!  The only picture I have from the day was when we got back home, where Eli is sporting his souvenirs from the party, his very own ninja sword (it even lights up and has sound effects!) and shield: